Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
