Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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