Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
