What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
