wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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