If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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