I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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