and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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