I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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