I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize