I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
