would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
only if we run a train.
done.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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