I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Drunk is a universal language darling
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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