We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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