we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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