Duck Duck Cougar?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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