Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
