I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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