I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
