take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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