why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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