theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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