how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
