I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you inspire me to be a worse person
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize