So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
