OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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