Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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