Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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