Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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