Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
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