He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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