I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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