I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
