I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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