Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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