Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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