I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
