The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
