dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
