are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
