just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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