Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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