I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize