there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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