I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
