so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
