woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
PANTIES FOUND
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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