I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
