don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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