dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
