I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
