What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
