Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
