White coat. Heels.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
