I got chris browned last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize