So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
did i just pee glitter
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