I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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