if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
