I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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