i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
