Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
