Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
